Whenever I make plans for a distant or not so distant future, they never ever turn out exactly the way I think they will. This is one of the unintended lessons that 2020 has taught me thus far. I remember back in 2015, I had begun formulating a foolproof plan born from my 22 year old genius (I hope you catch my sarcasm) of returning to Japan to further my education in the arts of storytelling and animation as a graduate student. I knew (or thought I knew) what I wanted and I wasn’t gonna allow my pitiful knowledge of kanji stop me from learning about such schools in my weekly research. Then I finally got there in late 2016 working for NOVA Holdings Incorporated (a story for another day). Prior to my move, I knew that I needed three things to set my plan in action: 1) money, 2) art skills worthy of a post graduate student, and 3) competence in Japanese language so that I can communicate with my peers and professors. As I like to tell people jokingly and very seriously, I got none of those things. Lets just say that I hadn’t formed my first workable budget until 2018 for starters.
So grad school wasn’t happening, so I tried my hand at being a freelancer in Osaka while teaching English. It was not very successful honestly, my only client was a CEO of a small startup company who wanted me to design their website. I quickly realized how much of my time was sent at “my” desk, where the assigned ALT teacher was required to sit from 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM that particular school year, regardless of how much or little English there as to teach. Where I felt that time could have been dedicated to my needy client and his ever-changing demands. The other thing I learned from that experience, however, was the sweet, sweet taste of the life that I deeply desired: the power for ME, not some faceless negotiator, how much my services were worth. That same small taste also held the bitter reality that I cannot what I wanted in Osaka. Could I have pulled it with more perseverance? Most likely. However I decided it wasn’t worth waiting it out for another 5 or 7 years for a permanent visa, nor to get lucky marrying a Japanese woman with the extra perk of a spouse visa lurking in the depths of my subconscious. (My dating experiences in Japan will be a story for another day, if there is enough interest.) Finally, the last option was to move to the epicenter of the country in Tokyo. Not in a million years. So then by my process of elimination, the place had to move was back to my home country, the United States of America. But as you might notice, the USA is a little bigger than Japan both geographically and financially. I certainly did not want to go back to my hometown, nor did I want to move to Los Angeles with its devastatingly expensive standards of decent living and its dog-eat-dog level of competition. So at some point in time, Austin, Texas came onto my radar. I had thought that my dad told me about this city, until in a conversation he asked me about where the idea of moving to Austin came from. So where exactly did I hear about Austin? To this day, I still have no idea.
So after my brother’s wedding in late December, I booked an AirBnb and rented a car to spend the remainder of my winter vacation in Austin, Texas. That week showed me everything that I needed to see. Equal appreciation for the arts and technology, manageable cost of living, ambitious entrepreneurs meeting up weekly, people not giving me the side eye when I walk down the street? Sign me up now! So when I returned to Japan, you guessed it, I made yet another foolproof plan. This one was better formulated than my Japanese grad school plan. It detailed a timeline by which I would only be living with my parents a few weeks after my return from Japan, getting a roommate to ease the cost of living even more, buying a used car from a dealership, looking into making my freelance business officially recognized while working a job that would allow me reasonable time to grow that business. But that all changed when the COVID attacked. Luckily, my parents were able to help me get out of Japan before the airlines started shutting down. However, my original timeline of living with my parents for few weeks, turned into for 4 months.
I wouldn’t admit it to myself then, but as I write this now, I acknowledge that I was depressed. My independence, gone. My PC, gone. My plans, gone. Just why does a caged bird sing? Why the hell would it? I applied for jobs like an insane person only to watch the weeks roll by without any responses. The only things that kept my sanity were working out near everyday, the occasional visit from my brother and his wife, a periodic audiobook, and a desperate faith that somehow God was still in control of the chaos that was eroding my mental state. Then one day, in the middle of one of my workouts, I get a job offer from the Austin Independent School District. What else? I get unemployment benefits from the Cares Act from to get me back on my feet. Hoorah! You know what that means! Form another foolproof plan!
Then the day comes for me to carryout what I had written down for months. Then the reality of just how much the pandemic has affected my country confronts me. The apartments I meticulously researched were gone within an hour after my visit, the only furniture supplier with stock was brand new and fairly expensive furniture from Costco! Then the car dealerships won’t give me a loan because they did not accept unemployment as proof of income. What snobs. So what was I supposed to do? Go back to California? Not an option.
I had embrace the internal suffering that came with accepting that what I think should be, will rarely ever match what actually is.
As of today, I still don’t have a car. Now I am humble enough to realize that the fault lies with me. My Move to Austin plan failed to take into account two actualities: the actual expiration date of the Cares Act (which led to my own recklessness in spending the money I already had accumulated) and the fact that the incompetence of human beings does not end before the Austin Independence School District (thanks for the low salary). So I had to find another way. A member of the Men’s Connect Group for gave me his spare bicycle. I will never take this for granted seeing how bicycles are yet another product that is in demand. Better yet, I used what money I had left to form Jon Allen Bridge Media LLC here in the state of Texas. I often times find myself pacing back and forth in my apartment imagining the possibilities of this company, and I hope you will stick around to see it grow. Despite my enthusiasm, I can’t see the complete road ahead. I have no idea how many snakes lie in my path. Forked roads? Detours? Toll Trolls? Draw a road map, but bring an eraser this time.